- My right hand knuckles are busted so now I’m typing like a test monkey. Hand swollen like a latex glove filled with water. Three out of five fingers won’t come apart and I’m pretty sure autocorrect just quit on me. I forget 90% of my thoughts before I can capture them because every letter to the right of TGV lags onto my document slower than dial up. But it’s okay, this is just what I needed. Content.
- I won’t tell you guys why my hand is busted because then you’re more likely to assume I knocked some guy in the nose rather than flat knuckled the face of a steel door. Either way it all started because one man couldn’t circumvent the pride his father had hotwired into his macho-masculine brain cells and the other man hadn’t emptied the bullshit canister in his brain for a while and it caught fire. You get into position and you take action because the blood under your skin begs you to. Thirty minutes later consequence slips its dick into your brain and ejaculates a giant load of regret. Why isn’t God an editor who can backspace my bad decisions? That’s okay, good decisions don’t make you a better writer.
- I’m right handed so I’m supposed to tell you that I’ll never take it for granted again but honestly this is a great excuse for me to become ambidextrous. The hardest thing I’ve had to do in life so far is wipe my ass with my left hand and that’s not a quote I want to be remembered by. Becoming ambidextrous is non-negotiable.
- I cannot stop almost getting in accidents because yanking back on the acceleration is not an option with a balloon for a hand. People already don’t like motorcyclists and one taking 90 seconds to get to 45mph is just another reason to sideswipe one off the road. I’m genuinely surprised I haven’t transcended into roadside coyote food yet. Hopefully I can dodge cars long enough to become ambidextrous.
- Tell me something you’ve fucked up once and been forced to regret for the following days. I need to laugh at other people to feel better.
Ironically this week’s prompt was break.