Skip to content

Conceited Crusade

  • About
  • Crusaders

Author: Gordon Flanders

It's hard for me to tell the truth.

Writer’s Toolbox: Modeling Clay

   Maybe you’re angry at yourself this week because you still haven’t been doing any writing.  “How can I keep calling myself a writer?” you ask the mirror.  You are wearing a dirty green hoodie because you forgot that creation is uncomfortable. That’s ok. You probably just don’t have time, what with all that moping […]

Read now

Writer’s Toolbox: Welding Mask

   As a writer, you’re a person with intense emotions. You’re probably prone to all kinds of forbidden desires. This week, I’ll show you how to win the battle over temptation so that you can get your ass back in your writing chair. There are two ways to deal with temptation. The first one is […]

Read now

Writer’s Toolbox: Machine Screw

Having trouble writing anything good this week? Don’t worry about it. Use this method to loosen up and stop caring whether you’re “good” at writing. Lucky for you it doesn’t even matter. First thing you got to do is have sex with someone. Could be someone you know, could be a relative, doesn’t really matter. […]

Read now

Writer’s Toolbox: Pliers

I am writing this story about too many characters who are indistinguishable from one another trying to get a hold of this thing called the “Pilgrim’s Stone.” I write it for fifteen minutes a day. I’ve been writing for a few weeks. It’s 12,000 words long and I don’t read it before I write more […]

Read now

How to Write a Good Story About God Not Helping the Syrian Refugees

Continuing on the assumption I made in my post a few days ago on Anyone’s Ghost that everyone who reads blogs is a writer, I’m going to try something new. I have this idea for a funny story with some…what’s that damn word? not relevancy but something to do with modern context…ah fuck it, you’re […]

Read now

Huge Fucking Aliens

Juan was a man of business who wore a midnight blue Brooks Brothers suit and had his initials stitched into the cuffs of his shirt. Juan was prepared for a lot of things; out of the way things even. Climate change, the uprising of the lower classes, Juan was even prepared for a global epidemic. He […]

Read now

If It Isn’t A Memory

  We drank Shiner Bock and Stolichnaya in thick plastic cups. The wooden tables were covered with fresh gingham. We lit little candles and floated them in glass. The muslin curtains hung from the rafters and touched the floor. We hid behind them and waited. When it was over, we brought bottles to the table and lit American […]

Read now

Posts navigation

Older posts
Blog at WordPress.com.
Hide
Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Finder by The Theme Foundry.
Cancel

 
Loading Comments...
Comment
    ×
    Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
    To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy