Writer’s Toolbox: Machine Screw

Having trouble writing anything good this week? Don’t worry about it. Use this method to loosen up and stop caring whether you’re “good” at writing. Lucky for you it doesn’t even matter.

First thing you got to do is have sex with someone. Could be someone you know, could be a relative, doesn’t really matter. Have sex and do it in a comfortable place so that you can do step two without hurting your neck.

Step two is fall asleep. Shouldn’t be too hard if you’ve done step one correctly.

Third, wake up around 2 AM. Don’t set an alarm, just tell your mind to wake you up and then trust yourself. You’re mind is a powerful tool that you should be using to the fullest extent at all times.

Step four, prick your finger with something that’s at least pretty clean.

Use your bleeding finger to write on a surface you don’t usually write on, like the ceiling or a window.

Write three words. Don’t think about what they are.

Go back to sleep.

When you wake up, write better than you have been doing.

Have fun! Take pictures of your three words and post them in the comments.


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