The three course meal woman

So I’ve always had this trouble when being out and about when I’m dressed decently. I will either get stared at by guys but never approached or just ignored altogether. It’s this weird extreme I’ve always dealt with. I am generally not extensively aware of my surroundings often enough to notice when I’m being stared at, but the people I’m with usually notice and tell me later. Occasionally I will feel burning from watching eyes and become aware of it on my own. I have absolutely no idea why this happens. 

Guys, if you have any insight as to why you stare and yet stay away from a girl, please share. It would be greatly appreciated.

I know it’s not because I’m this gorgeous model that seems unapproachable. But I also know it’s not because I have a weird deformity that makes everyone stop and stare. 

No, it’s just that some men stare and don’t do anything about it. And I have no clue as to what the thought process is there.  I’m at a loss. If you are going to burn holes in me with your eyes but stay away like I’m the plague, what message are you trying to send me? 

I have come to terms that I’m not the type of girl that is going to meet this great guy (or any guy at this rate) at a bar/club/store/anywhere in public because he saw me and just had to come over and talk to me. I think my odds of getting approached by a stranger are the same as winning the lottery. 

That being said, the rare times I have been approached (I can count it on one hand without using all the fingers) it didn’t matter to me if the guy was someone I’d normally not give the time of day to. I would give him a chance based solely on the guts it takes to approach someone you don’t know and put yourself out there. 

Which leads me to my current age and situation. I am no longer interested in dating games. The angsty, “what is he thinking”, “is he going to call me (or nowadays, text me)” whole bullshit deal, I’m so over it. I’m an adult. I don’t have energy to spend on mind games like that. Here’s what really  hooks me in. 

(Take notes, boys and girls, I’ve done my fair share of listening to beautiful friends complain about the same damn things and want exactly what I’m about to tell you).  

Go after what you want. Especially if what you want is me. I will give you mad props for having the confidence (even if it’s fake) to pursue me in a way that actually lets me know that you are pursuing me. None of this “let’s hang out” bullshit or “I’ll meet you there” because it’s convenient (asshole). I mean “I’m interested in taking you out romantically” pursuit. It’s called taking me out on a date. Research it. BOOM! 

It’s okay if you are nervous. The fact that you have big enough balls to let me know you find me attractive works in your favor. I can’t speak for the other girls, but I personally melt when a guy is tripping over words or lets me know he’s nervous but he keeps trying anyway. It’s adorable. And I find that hot. 

I will find your quirks charming. Just be yourself, don’t try to impress me. You being you will set you apart from all the bullshit the other guys like to feed us. Of course, it depends on the kind of girl you are looking for. If you are just looking for some good cotton candy, all that fluffy smooth talk will probably work and you’ll get yours, short term. But I’m talking about getting a meal and dessert type of girl, the kind you actually see yourself sticking with longer than a night or two. That girl, like me, wants to know what makes you different from all the other hacks trying to get into her panties. And that’s where the things your friends tease you about come in. Chances are she will find your “embarrassing” traits and weird interests funny and cute. This is a good thing. 

Listen to what I have to say. I don’t want to spend the entire evening listening to you talk about how awesome you are. The whole time I’m just thinking “wow, he really likes the sound of his own voice”. I also don’t want to be the only one talking either. It’s called conversation. I bring interesting bits of myself to you, you bring interesting bits of yourself too, then we explore those interesting parts of each other. Verbally. (I just realized that sounded way sexual. Or maybe I just have a dirty mind. Could be both). 

Be consistent. This is HUGE! Call when you say you are going to call! Let me know when you can’t talk, don’t just ignore my texts or calls. Check in with me. Show you are interested by regularly contacting me. It does not come across as desperate! Not at my age. (Anyone in, near or past their 30’s will probably tell you this is true). It tells me you are genuinely interested, that you are thinking about me, and you care about what I’m doing and how I feel. This is a MAJOR brownie point maker. Here’s a following example of how much so: 

I currently have a very HOT female friend who is giving this cute but fairly average looking guy a chance because he is consistent and openly pursuing her. He’s nothing like the faux male model types she is used to talking to and dating, but because they have all played their little games with her, she finds this guy refreshing and worth giving him her time above other more attractive guys currently trying to get at her using their stupid “I’m too cool to let off that I like you” tricks. 

The proof is in the pudding. This is how those models end up marrying those funky looking old guys. Because they know how to put themselves out there and risk rejection by being themselves and pursuing what they want. That and most likely they are filthy rich. But for the sake of making my point, let’s just focus on the formerly stated reasons. 

This is how you draw me in. And I think it’s safe to say I’m not the only woman who is won over by these things. So, there it is. The secret to getting the attention of a woman you think is way out of your league. (Not that I’m placing myself in this category, I’m not that vain. Really.) If she is the quality three course meal type of girl (meaning she’s the equivalent of having a well balanced meal plus dessert) this is basically a fool-proof plan of action. 

So it’s up to you. If you want to keep going after the type of girl that’s like a sugar only diet because it’s fun and easy, then yeah, you’ll get full eventually. But all those empty calories will just get you fat. And rot your teeth.  Enjoy your future with dentures. 

Posted in Dating